9 Steps to Make Your Dream Come True.
Having worked for over a decade to help others achieve their dreams, I have realized that there are nine key steps that people need to take to make their dreams come true. This is true whether their dreams are personal, organizational or professional. Some people struggle with one element, some with another. But when all nine are in place, the path becomes easier and obstacles seem insignificant. Other people seem to support you and things tend to go your way. But, if they’re not in place, achieving the dream becomes such a struggle that often people give it up. They blame themselves for lack of willpower, organizations for being bureaucratic, our society for being corrupt or some other force that was too much for them. They decide the dream can’t be attained, or the effort isn’t worth it. And they just give up, when they didn't have to.
So, what are these 9 keys to successfully realizing your dream?
For example, a client of mine thought her main problem was that she was unhappy with the management style at work. She felt stuck and resigned. When she dug a little deeper, she discovered that the reason all this bothered her so much was she was in the wrong field. She wanted to move from one medical specialty to another. Once she realized that, and understood that it was possible, there was no stopping her. She took some classes, and is now on her way to her new profession.
Or, you may have limited your choices to what you thought was “reasonable” or “realistic” or what other people would find acceptable. And for some reason, you just can’t seem to get started, or if you do, your efforts fall short. I knew someone who was so concerned about appearing “respectable” that in redecorating her house she never thought about what she liked, but only what was “appropriate” and had a decorator pick everything. The decorator stuck with cream throughout the house. There’s nothing wrong with cream. But the client didn’t pick it because she wanted it;she picked it because she was afraid to stand out. The resulting decorating scheme, understandably, had no mark of her own taste and personality. In contrast to this, a friend of mine had an all white color scheme in her bedroom, but it was matched with beautiful dark wood and displayed her taste beautifully. Because she knew what she wanted the effect was totally different even though she used the same color. Sometimes it’s not what you choose to do that matters, it’s why you choose to do it.
2. Dreaming clearly
When you dream, you need to dream as clearly and precisely as possible.
If you want to move to California, where exactly do you want to move? What kind of house do you want to live in? Who are your neighbors and friends, etc., etc. The clearer and more precisely you imagine your dream, the greater your chances of your realizing it.
It doesn’t matter if some of the details change later or the dream itself changes. By giving yourself permission to develop your dream in detail, you are mobilizing powerful internal forces in support of your dream and learning a great deal about what exactly you really want. You are also taking an important step in making the dream “real” for yourself and others. Real things are specific: they have sounds, smells, colors, flavors, sizes and details. They’re not vague yearnings.
If you’re not sure what you really want, there are many different techniques and exercises you can use to clarify what your goal really is. Not all of them will be right for you. As in many other things in life, one size does not fit all. But there are plenty of approaches you can use to clarify your dream and one of them will be right for you.
So, let’s say you’ve figured out exactly what you want. You’ve decided to become a professional speech therapist in a small hospital in Wyoming, move to a white two-story beach side house in San Diego, learn how to design websites for lawyers or spend a year in Palermo to research the mystery novel you’re finally writing. So is that enough for you to realize your dream? Not yet.
You need to feel that realizing this dream is something you have to accomplish starting right now. Conviction is another essential element to realizing your dream.
3. Conviction that Your Goal is Vital
It’s not enough to know this intellectually, to think this is important or a good idea.
You have to know in your heart and your guts that this is something essential for you to do now.
But that’s not enough either. In addition to feeling this is something essential you need to take care of you also have to believe you can do it.
4. Belief in Your Ability
No matter how much you want something, no matter how important it is to you, if you don’t believe you can do it you won’t be able to. But isn't that the same as having conviction, you might ask. No. Believing something is essential is not the same as having the confidence or the faith that you'll be able to do it.
You need to have faith that somehow, whatever it takes, you’ll get there. Sometimes that faith is there already, sometimes, by getting out there and talking to people and starting to move, the faith will grow. Experience and results are just as important in developing faith as faith is in leading to results. Small steps, one after the other can lead to big changes, both in your attitude and in your results. But what steps? What do you need to do next?
5. Research.
You need to get out there and do research to find out what you have to do to make your dream come true, and what living that dream is really like.
To do this you need to get information, from the Internet, from magazines and books and from other people. You need to find out what kind of resources you need in terms of knowledge, skills, people and finances or anything else that is necessary.
For example, if you’re planning to get fit, you need to find out what kinds of healthy exercise and eating habits fit your personality and preferences and how much the equipment you need will cost.
If you’re planning to market your goods or services in another country you need to research not only markets there, tax and import laws, but also the culture. Products, slogans or even colors, that work the U.S., may be ridiculous or even insulting there.
Once you have the information you need, you have to develop a strategy to put it what you’ve learned into operation to achieve your goal.
6. Strategy.
A strategy is just a plan, with a time frame for doing what you need to do to achieve a goal. So, now that you have the information you need, you can develop your strategy and start moving. This will take time, thought and reality testing. Sometimes a strategy that doesn’t seem to be working just needs a little fine-tuning.
For example, I once worked with a volunteer group, to recruit and mobilize volunteer leaders from constituent organizations. The trainings we developed were great. And we had excellent participation in the initial sessions. But the new leaders weren’t managing .to mobilize others within their home organizations consistently and they were getting discouraged. When I suggested that established leaders work one-on-one with newcomers to mentor them on how to develop and sustain momentum within their own organizations, things started turning around. It just took a little more information and one additional element to make our strategy work.
7. Determination.
You need to be ready to do whatever it takes to realize your goal.
There will be fun parts and not so fun parts of getting there. You need to develop whatever supports you need to keep your determination going, especially when you encounter temporary setbacks, things take longer than you expected, or you’re having a bad day and losing faith.
Put pictures of your dream house on the fridge, find a friend to call when you feel you can’t jog another mile, speak at a professional organization to remind yourself you have something valuable to offer, find a coach to help you, listen to motivational tapes, practice relaxation exercises, take a ten minute walk, write down what you’re feeling or pray. Do whatever will get you back on track. And then just keep going. Your moods may swing but they don’t have to rule your actions.
8. Other People.
You need other people all along the way to the achievement of your goal, for information, advice, support, as an audience or as clients. They have their own needs and desires too. Remember to thank them, help them and develop long-term relationships with them, even if they’re not immediately useful to your project. People sense it when you don’t care about them and they don’t like being used. Neither do you. Share information with them let them know how you’re doing and find out how you can be useful to them. Keep in touch from time to time after you’re project is done. No one is an island. Long-term relationships are essential, not just to realizing this one goal, but to realizing yet undreamed of ones and to building a life.
9.Balance
Whether you’re spending eighty hours a week on this goal or two, remember this isn’t all of your life. You’ll be a lot more energized and successful if you stop – not just to smell the roses – but also to taste the sushi-or the rugelach, play with the kids and go to that concert. Having a life leaves you more joyful and relaxed, and that will make a difference in how effective you are in all aspects of your life, including achieving your goals.
So, there you have it: the nine steps to achieving a goal. Now it’s up to you to take the first step. And happy dreaming!
Having worked for over a decade to help others achieve their dreams, I have realized that there are nine key steps that people need to take to make their dreams come true. This is true whether their dreams are personal, organizational or professional. Some people struggle with one element, some with another. But when all nine are in place, the path becomes easier and obstacles seem insignificant. Other people seem to support you and things tend to go your way. But, if they’re not in place, achieving the dream becomes such a struggle that often people give it up. They blame themselves for lack of willpower, organizations for being bureaucratic, our society for being corrupt or some other force that was too much for them. They decide the dream can’t be attained, or the effort isn’t worth it. And they just give up, when they didn't have to.
So, what are these 9 keys to successfully realizing your dream?
- Knowing what your dream is.
For example, a client of mine thought her main problem was that she was unhappy with the management style at work. She felt stuck and resigned. When she dug a little deeper, she discovered that the reason all this bothered her so much was she was in the wrong field. She wanted to move from one medical specialty to another. Once she realized that, and understood that it was possible, there was no stopping her. She took some classes, and is now on her way to her new profession.
Or, you may have limited your choices to what you thought was “reasonable” or “realistic” or what other people would find acceptable. And for some reason, you just can’t seem to get started, or if you do, your efforts fall short. I knew someone who was so concerned about appearing “respectable” that in redecorating her house she never thought about what she liked, but only what was “appropriate” and had a decorator pick everything. The decorator stuck with cream throughout the house. There’s nothing wrong with cream. But the client didn’t pick it because she wanted it;she picked it because she was afraid to stand out. The resulting decorating scheme, understandably, had no mark of her own taste and personality. In contrast to this, a friend of mine had an all white color scheme in her bedroom, but it was matched with beautiful dark wood and displayed her taste beautifully. Because she knew what she wanted the effect was totally different even though she used the same color. Sometimes it’s not what you choose to do that matters, it’s why you choose to do it.
2. Dreaming clearly
When you dream, you need to dream as clearly and precisely as possible.
If you want to move to California, where exactly do you want to move? What kind of house do you want to live in? Who are your neighbors and friends, etc., etc. The clearer and more precisely you imagine your dream, the greater your chances of your realizing it.
It doesn’t matter if some of the details change later or the dream itself changes. By giving yourself permission to develop your dream in detail, you are mobilizing powerful internal forces in support of your dream and learning a great deal about what exactly you really want. You are also taking an important step in making the dream “real” for yourself and others. Real things are specific: they have sounds, smells, colors, flavors, sizes and details. They’re not vague yearnings.
If you’re not sure what you really want, there are many different techniques and exercises you can use to clarify what your goal really is. Not all of them will be right for you. As in many other things in life, one size does not fit all. But there are plenty of approaches you can use to clarify your dream and one of them will be right for you.
So, let’s say you’ve figured out exactly what you want. You’ve decided to become a professional speech therapist in a small hospital in Wyoming, move to a white two-story beach side house in San Diego, learn how to design websites for lawyers or spend a year in Palermo to research the mystery novel you’re finally writing. So is that enough for you to realize your dream? Not yet.
You need to feel that realizing this dream is something you have to accomplish starting right now. Conviction is another essential element to realizing your dream.
3. Conviction that Your Goal is Vital
It’s not enough to know this intellectually, to think this is important or a good idea.
You have to know in your heart and your guts that this is something essential for you to do now.
But that’s not enough either. In addition to feeling this is something essential you need to take care of you also have to believe you can do it.
4. Belief in Your Ability
No matter how much you want something, no matter how important it is to you, if you don’t believe you can do it you won’t be able to. But isn't that the same as having conviction, you might ask. No. Believing something is essential is not the same as having the confidence or the faith that you'll be able to do it.
You need to have faith that somehow, whatever it takes, you’ll get there. Sometimes that faith is there already, sometimes, by getting out there and talking to people and starting to move, the faith will grow. Experience and results are just as important in developing faith as faith is in leading to results. Small steps, one after the other can lead to big changes, both in your attitude and in your results. But what steps? What do you need to do next?
5. Research.
You need to get out there and do research to find out what you have to do to make your dream come true, and what living that dream is really like.
To do this you need to get information, from the Internet, from magazines and books and from other people. You need to find out what kind of resources you need in terms of knowledge, skills, people and finances or anything else that is necessary.
For example, if you’re planning to get fit, you need to find out what kinds of healthy exercise and eating habits fit your personality and preferences and how much the equipment you need will cost.
If you’re planning to market your goods or services in another country you need to research not only markets there, tax and import laws, but also the culture. Products, slogans or even colors, that work the U.S., may be ridiculous or even insulting there.
Once you have the information you need, you have to develop a strategy to put it what you’ve learned into operation to achieve your goal.
6. Strategy.
A strategy is just a plan, with a time frame for doing what you need to do to achieve a goal. So, now that you have the information you need, you can develop your strategy and start moving. This will take time, thought and reality testing. Sometimes a strategy that doesn’t seem to be working just needs a little fine-tuning.
For example, I once worked with a volunteer group, to recruit and mobilize volunteer leaders from constituent organizations. The trainings we developed were great. And we had excellent participation in the initial sessions. But the new leaders weren’t managing .to mobilize others within their home organizations consistently and they were getting discouraged. When I suggested that established leaders work one-on-one with newcomers to mentor them on how to develop and sustain momentum within their own organizations, things started turning around. It just took a little more information and one additional element to make our strategy work.
7. Determination.
You need to be ready to do whatever it takes to realize your goal.
There will be fun parts and not so fun parts of getting there. You need to develop whatever supports you need to keep your determination going, especially when you encounter temporary setbacks, things take longer than you expected, or you’re having a bad day and losing faith.
Put pictures of your dream house on the fridge, find a friend to call when you feel you can’t jog another mile, speak at a professional organization to remind yourself you have something valuable to offer, find a coach to help you, listen to motivational tapes, practice relaxation exercises, take a ten minute walk, write down what you’re feeling or pray. Do whatever will get you back on track. And then just keep going. Your moods may swing but they don’t have to rule your actions.
8. Other People.
You need other people all along the way to the achievement of your goal, for information, advice, support, as an audience or as clients. They have their own needs and desires too. Remember to thank them, help them and develop long-term relationships with them, even if they’re not immediately useful to your project. People sense it when you don’t care about them and they don’t like being used. Neither do you. Share information with them let them know how you’re doing and find out how you can be useful to them. Keep in touch from time to time after you’re project is done. No one is an island. Long-term relationships are essential, not just to realizing this one goal, but to realizing yet undreamed of ones and to building a life.
9.Balance
Whether you’re spending eighty hours a week on this goal or two, remember this isn’t all of your life. You’ll be a lot more energized and successful if you stop – not just to smell the roses – but also to taste the sushi-or the rugelach, play with the kids and go to that concert. Having a life leaves you more joyful and relaxed, and that will make a difference in how effective you are in all aspects of your life, including achieving your goals.
So, there you have it: the nine steps to achieving a goal. Now it’s up to you to take the first step. And happy dreaming!
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