Imperfection

I recently drove a ways to get to a meeting of a group I was considering joining.  I got lost (twice) and barely had time to stop at the hotel before getting to the meeting.  I was the first one there, thought it might have been moved, gave what I was afraid might have been a too spontaneous presentation and was concerned I might have put the wrong foot forward at the after meeting get-together.  These concerns escalated when, after returning home, I I sent out emails to some of my new acquaintances and they didn't respond right away. Do I even need to add that after another day or two I did get positive responses to my emails?

Nowadays, we’re all obsessed with perfection. I don’t mean the kind of perfection found in a beautiful sunset or a favorite painting or even a long, leisurely walk in the woods with someone we care about.  I mean the kind of perfection involving a snappy presentation, perfect elocution and carefully crafted “authentic” message.  I guess what I’m talking about is a kind of branding.

Polish and presentation seem all important and encompass clothes,conversation, associations, trips to the supermarket and, of course, business events and our work at the office.   And that’s not counting the branding involved in the quest for the perfect SAT score, exemplary mate and perfect hair. This last used to be reserved for females, but  is so no longer.

With the internet and social media everything is visible and we have to take stock, measure up and modestly show off our accomplishments and personality.  And we feel we need to do it fast. When we see something on the internet, even if it took hours, days or even longer to put together, we can access it in a flash.  And we think we have to respond in kind. Sometimes it’s all a little overwhelming, like being on a carousel that never stops that we’re responsible for keeping in motion. It makes me want to take a deep breath and run away.I know it was ever thus, but now it seems more dizzying than ever.

Somehow, in trying to calm down and relax about all this, I was reminded of the Japanese idea of Wabi-Sabi, which is about finding the beauty in imperfect things; a beauty that comes from their imperfection. There’s something .refreshing in that idea – especially when we apply it to ourselves.. After all, we can't become perfect.

I don’t mean to use necessary imperfection as an excuse not to do the best we can in our undertakings.  But ,as long as we don’t take the Wabi-Sabi idea and turn it into a new ideal to “live up to” but rather use it to remind ourselves that perfection is an impossible and destructive ideal, it can help us accept ourselves for what we are, delightfully imperfect.